Brave Patrie Madame

La lapidation chic.

Comment faire comprendre les méfaits de la lapidation, plus efficacement qu’avec une pétition.

Bulle Tropcassée, jeudi 2 septembre 2010 - 11:03 Partager sur Facebook Tweeter Enregistrer sur del.icio.us Enregistrer sur Google Bookmarks Enregistrer sur Yahoo! Envoyer par e-mail

Tromper son époux est une coutume occidentale très en vogue. En effet, comment oser se présenter sur la plage de Deauville au bras d’un mari chauve et bedonnant quand on peut séduire le dernier it-boy dans le lobby du Normandy ? Porteriez-vous un vieux maillot de bain râpé si vous disposiez d’un bikini en lamé argent ? C’est un fait, Mesdames, la mode est aux Amants, il en va de votre réputation.

Or, le journal iranien Kayhan s’offusque de la propagation de cette tradition européenne dans son beau pays grâce à la très Trendy Sakineh Mohammadi Asthiani et propose pour couper court de lapider la Fashion-Victim (notez au passage que cet article est truffé d’anglicismes, c’est normal, j’ai épousé un fan d’Elvis cet été à Las Vegas).

Toujours plus offensive qu’une pathétique pétition circulant parmi quelques actrices gnan-gnan du 8ème Arrondissement, la rédaction de Brave Patrie Madame propose de lutter contre la violence faite aux femmes en Iran en s’attaquant aux hommes adultères Parisiens. Parce qu’il n’y a pas d’autorité sans injustice. Et puis parce que l’espèce n’est pas rare. Le protocole à suivre est cependant moins barbare qu’à Téhéran.
Un homme dont l’infidélité a été découverte, s’il veut conserver son épouse (ce qui est le cas de 90% des hommes mariés, d’après le témoignage de nombreuses maitresses) a TOU-JOURS le même comportement. Il commencera par vous offrir des diamants, rubis et autres émeraudes sous diverses formes.

JPEG - 23.2 ko

Aux aaaaarmes mes amies.

Ne vous drapez pas dans une dignité absurde, acceptez les pierres, elles sont à la base de notre plan diabolique. Votre butin amassé, vous devez neutraliser le supplicié. Rien de plus facile, puisque dans le package "Ne me quitte pas ma chérie - j’ai commis la plus grosse erreur de ma vie - cette fille n’est rien pour moi - tu es tellement merveilleuse", en principe, le voyage de rêve sur une île paradisiaque avec Spa et soins à volonté est compris. L’infâme traître sera donc forcément piégé au cours de votre séjour dans un bain de boue aux algues dont les bienfaits sont inversement proportionnels à la délicatesse de leur parfum. Seule la tête devra dépasser. Là, PAF, attaquez ! Jetez-lui vos pierres précieuses au visage, en prenant cependant soin d’éviter les yeux (il ne s’agit pas de vous prendre pour une amie d’Ahmadinejad). Enfin, n’oubliez surtout pas de récupérer vos bijoux après l’offensive.

Cette mission accomplie, vous aurez bien plus fermement défendu la cause féministe qu’en écrivant un pseudo-pamphlet dans un magazine féminin. A vos cailloux Mesdames, et lâchez-vous pour moi, je suis malheureusement veuve, le pauvre Elvis ayant disparu en mer.

Diffusez les vraies valeurs ! Partagez cet article !

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Réactions à Comment faire comprendre les méfaits de la lapidation, plus efficacement qu’avec une pétition.

Les vrais Patriotes pratiquent la réaction dans la joie et la bonne humeur depuis 2002. Réagissez aussi !

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  • {#EMAIL_AUTEUR,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

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      • {#EMAIL_AUTEUR,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

        23 mars 22:29, par Thomas Georg

        L'Outrageotron

        It locations a significant give consideration to the middle portion of your chest, encouraging the growth
        and definition of the pectoral muscle tissue on this space.
        This focused middle chest exercise is especially beneficial for individuals
        aiming to attain a more balanced and aesthetically pleasing
        chest look. By stimulating the muscle fibers within the center
        chest, you’ll have the ability to create a well-defined and sculpted chest that complements
        your general physique. It can also help enhance higher physique stability, symmetry, and
        muscle steadiness. Total, the broad grip bench press is a valuable train to include into
        any chest workout routine. That said, sure exercises deliver the pec minor into a extra significant function, which might
        help to additional strengthen it.
        In the shoulder girdle, the serratus anterior and pectoralis minor abduct the scapula throughout flyes.

        The serratus anterior lies on the outer surface of the ribs on the sides just below the
        armpits, and is covered by the scapula on the rear and pectoralis main in front.
        The anterior head of the deltoid is one of three that shapes the shoulder.
        The coracobrachialis is a small muscle beneath the deltoid and pectoralis major muscles on the front and inner aspect of
        the arm.
        "When it involves training to coaching your internal chest and attacking your chest, [it’s okay to] back down on the load a little bit,"
        Samuel says. "Let’s own the contraction and the five workout routines we’ve given you, you haven’t any choice however to again down the burden to dominate the contraction, and that is gonna get you the inner chest that you want." Interact your inner chest by concentrating on feeling the muscle working during every train. Visualize squeezing and contracting the pec
        muscle tissue all through the motion, promoting better
        activation and development. To perform a Cable Standing Squeeze Upper Chest Press, stand facing away from the machine, holding one handle in every hand at shoulder top.

        The pectoralis major covers the whole chest on both sides of the sternum ; the
        lower portion attaches to the sternum whereas the higher portion attaches to
        the clavicle. The coracobrachialis lies within the upper middle portion of the arm, and the anterior deltoid
        constitutes the front of the shoulder. Here, it is
        time to squeeze the final bit of work out
        of your pecs for this workout.
        Whereas more fixed tools like barbells still positively have their place
        in an internal chest workout, dumbbells, cables,
        and specialised machines will certainly be required.

        So, all you should do is decide two to 3 workout routines and add to
        your chest exercise routine, and you’ll be on the way to getting a fuller and engaging inner chest.
        Whether Or Not we’re trying to build a broader chest or goal the inner chest,
        dumbbell chest fly is an efficient exercise to do
        this job. You can goal your inner chest 1-2 times per week as
        part of your total chest exercise routine. Bear In Mind to
        supply sufficient relaxation between classes for muscle
        restoration and progress.
        One of the biggest obstacles to a consistent train regime is overtraining, which applies
        as much to chest workouts as the rest. In addition to working the chest and inspiring
        flexibility, the chest flye also strengthens the triceps whereas stabilizing
        shoulder muscles. It hits the pectoral muscular tissues almost completely and permits for greater chest power and definition. It additionally minimizes using the surrounding arm muscular
        tissues in comparability with other chest exercises.
        The plate pinch press is an efficient way to target your inside chest and actually get these
        fibers working using a low weight, high rep workout.
        It’s additionally essential to keep your wrists straight and avoid locking out your elbows
        at the prime of the movement. Hopefully, by now you might
        have a great grasp of your chest muscle anatomy, what some efficient chest exercises
        are, and how one can combine them into one awesome chest workout.
        Bar dips require a certain diploma of strength and control to even be a
        risk.
        Each time you press something in entrance of your physique you
        are feeling like you’re lacking some energy. Maybe you’re incorporating the heavy
        bag into your exercises, and your punches don’t have the power and pace you expected.
        The anterior deltoid covers the entrance of the shoulders, and is especially robust when the arms are in line with the shoulders.
        The coracobrachialis, which lies directly t beneath the
        deltoid and the pectoralis major, is totally targeted in this train. The dips will target
        the decrease portion of your pecs somewhat bit extra,
        and likewise present some coaching for adjoining, smaller muscles, like
        your pectoralis minor and serratus anterior.
        This necessary muscle runs from the ribs to the shoulder
        blade and helps protract the scapulae in pushing actions.
        Nevertheless, it’s believed that such development is genetically determined — both you have the potential for it
        or you do not. Some trainers say that a well-defined chest is a results of
        steroid use and that "natty" lifters simply can’t isolate their pecs
        nicely sufficient to attain that level of definition. Final however
        not least, in the internal chest train, we have
        the chest dips, which will present a big amount
        of tension to your decrease and inside chest and the triceps.

        The third exercise we have is diamond pushup, a bodyweight train you can do anywhere you want.

        Get ready to rework your workouts and build that defined chest you’ve all the time
        wished. Mind-muscle connection refers back to the capacity
        to mentally give consideration to the muscular tissues you’re engaged on throughout an exercise.

        You must be including these two workouts in your chest exercise routine
        but additionally including chest exercises that forces your muscles to work from completely different angles.

        To forestall the dreaded progress plateau once in a while you ought to be doing varied chest workouts firstly of your workout when your muscles are contemporary.
        You can even substitute dumbbells for the barbell version and vice
        versa. Building a powerful chest is important to any fitness routine, particularly if you’re just beginning out.
        Not only does having a big muscular chest provide
        the look of being greater however its additionally one of the
        most attractive physique parts according to ladies. So we’ve gathered our high eleven chest
        workouts to add to your exercise routine to build an even bigger
        chest. First up after the bench press is the incline dumbbell press, for three sets of 8 reps.
        The incline dumbbell presses complement the bench press by targeting the higher portion of your chest more.

        This train will increase explosive power and builds up your chest muscles.
        All you have to do is place your arms wider than shoulder-width
        aside. This position will shift the emphasis onto your chest muscles, making them work more
        durable. One Other factor to notice is that in my personal expertise and in my evaluate of the literature, I noticed there’s lots of particular person variation in phrases of one of the best workouts for the chest.
        For instance, anatomical variations like how far down your pecs insert
        on your humerus can decide if issues like bench press are a good
        possibility for you or not. So although outcomes from research will apply
        to most people, they don’t account for each particular person.
        The squeeze plate press is a solid simulation of a bodybuilder’s posing
        routine, tightly pressing a lightweight plate as if you’re making an attempt to crush it between your palms.
        As A Result Of a lightweight load is all it takes to create heavy pressure, the squeeze plate press is oftentimes an underrated and underutilized exercise.
        By extending your arms while squeezing the internal chest, you’ll
        be creating enough rigidity to fatigue in as little as two reps.

        Setting the bench at an incline allows for higher activation of the shoulders,
        so you’ll be working extra muscular tissues on high of your pecs with each rep you
        perform. As with the decline barbell/dumbbell press, the incline
        press is ideally suited to these sessions where you need
        to hit a range of chest muscle tissue to assist with total chest definition. If you’re putting together
        a chest session in the health club and need to get most impression in your decrease pecs, the barbell/dumbbell decline press
        must be added to your exercise routine. Chest flyes assist open up your chest muscles since they
        permit for an extended movement to stretch the muscles beyond
        the vary of different chest workout routines. The plate pinch press
        is a superb pectoral exercise for these workouts when you actually need to
        hone in on a range of chest muscle tissue. The fly takes that essential motion we have already highlighted—adduction—and
        adds resistance. But whereas the standard dumbbell chest fly is a stable choice (you’ll discover it listed beneath, after all) the train does
        have its downsides.
        The single-arm chest fly is probably considered one of the
        best exercises in the house to get a crazy pressure on the inside portion of your chest.
        Here’re the 9 best inside chest workouts you want to perform to get a gorgeous chest.
        Nevertheless, there’re some inner chest particular exercises you
        possibly can perform to place extra pressure to the middle of your chest where your pecs connect to the
        sternum. If you have shoulder joint issues, it’s essential to seek the advice of
        a healthcare professional or a certified trainer to discover out which workouts are safe for you.
        In some instances, modifying exercises or utilizing machines may be really helpful to cut back pressure on the shoulders.

        Your higher physique’s "pushing" muscular tissues are
        your chest muscles, AKA pectorals or pecs, together with the deltoid and triceps.
        If you’re in search of simple cable machine
        chest workout routines to add to your routine, 
        cable crossover are an excellent staple exercise to get you began. It helps to develop and outline the lower and the Internal
        pectoral muscular tissues. Whereas the entire aforementioned cable chest exercises
        are efficient, we’ve chosen the 15 best workout routines for you to do.
        Altogether, you can target your chest in so many different ways to ensure
        every muscle fiber of your pec major (upper,
        lower, center, inner) is activated adequately.
        Embody it in chest-focused health club sessions to help general chest
        growth. As you would possibly count on, this
        train works just like the inverse of the decline press,
        allowing you to channel your power towards the highest of your pectoral.

        It’s a great lower pectoral train that matches properly into a
        chest-based routine. However try to keep away from performing these day by day as the prolonged
        movement causes muscles to tear. Begin with decrease
        rep counts, and as you improve, you can add more reps to
        construct extra power.
        The push-up tops this list as a result of it’s the foundation of chest growth.
        The following workout routines have been chosen because they current the
        best advantages to both inside and total chest improvement, as you can’t have one with out the
        other. That’s plenty of duty for your pecs to tackle,
        and they’re large, so working them out fully entails lots of work.
        It’s simple to see now how anybody could
        miss out on totally understanding each single part of their chest.
        Your internal chest particularly is hard to get to, it’s responsible for the inner rotation and flexion that simply aren’t what
        come to thoughts first and foremost when we
        think of our chests.
        If you don’t have any balls, you could make this a real no equipment chest exercise
        by using a few heavy books stacked collectively instead of a ball.

        Both heads converge, after which the muscle inserts on the humerus, or upper-arm bone.
        If you may have a training buddy who needs to develop
        their inside chest space, be certain to share this data with them as
        well. When you do this for the decrease, middle, or higher part of the internal chest, you must be ready to actually feel the muscle tissue contract and
        become firm. You can even adjust a cable machine
        to work each part of the internal chest.
        The dumbbell flye to press is a superb compound mobility movement
        that works your pectorals from a quantity of angles.

        It has all the advantages of a standard dumbbell chest press while
        additionally giving your pecs a fantastic stretch.
        It consists of three parts — the anterior deltoid,
        lateral deltoid, and posterior deltoid. The anterior deltoid works with the pectoralis
        main to permit for shoulder flexion and transverse adduction. This weblog will delve into the anatomy of your chest, the advantages of working out your chest with
        dumbbells, and some exceptional dumbbell chest
        exercises you can begin doing right now.
        This isolation is exactly what makes the hexpPress
        a superb addition to your inside chest workout. The Smith machine hex press allows for
        a greater vary of motion and extra emphasis on the inside chest muscular tissues than a conventional bench press.
        This method you’ll find a way to achieve a greater mind to muscle connection as you carry out the exercises.
        Depending on the extent of weights you’re urgent, you can carry out the dumbbell flat bench
        press several times a week. To perform the Reverse
        Grip Dumbbell Bench Press, lie on a flat bench along with your toes flat on the ground.
        Hold the dumbbells with a supinated grip, with your palms dealing
        with towards you. Lower the dumbbells all the means down to
        your chest, maintaining your elbows close to your body, and then press them again up to the beginning place.

        You can go from one chest exercise to the next,
        shortly alter coaching variables, and change the load load in a matter
        of seconds. Cable chest workouts will have your arms working
        independently of one another. This ensures that you’re
        not favoring one side more than the opposite, which in the end
        helps you iron out any muscle imbalances and
        asymmetries. Let’s go over the two main variables for cable
        chest workouts so you will note why we have so many
        cable workouts for chest... It allows for full
        protraction of the shoulder, which allows you to absolutely
        activate your serratus anterior and maximize contraction of your pec major.
        All you do is put a band round your again and hold every finish with your palms.
        Decide up the depth with a more advanced transfer (that would possibly pose a challenge for anybody with
        restricted shoulder mobility).
        We extremely suggest that you incorporate some cable chest workouts into
        your routine. Cable exercises are great for building and strengthening
        your pectoralis major, which is the muscle that makes up the overwhelming majority of your chest,
        as nicely as helping with chest fat loss. The cable crossover machine allows for a wide variety of chest
        workouts because of its ability to govern angles and change attachments.
        But if your goal is that ripped internal chest look, you’ll need to add a few more moves to
        your coaching. Here are 5 of the most effective complementary chest exercises
        in your routine that can help complete that aesthetic higher physique look.
        The Svend Press is my favorite chest isolation train, particularly for specializing
        in the inner pecs.

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      • {#EMAIL_AUTEUR,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

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  • {#EMAIL_AUTEUR,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    30 août 2015 17:21, par Deloras

    Comment faire comprendre les m

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Déjà 18 réactions.

  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    10 septembre 2010 15:13, par

    N’ayant pu consulter avant,…

    N'ayant pu consulter avant, je ne me suis hélas pas présenter à ce rendez vous. Veuillez m'en excuser auprès du mari de madame, dont je ne vois pas très bien de qui vous voulez parler.
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    9 septembre 2010 20:01, par Amélie M.

    tu fais quoi, ce soir ?

    tu fais quoi, ce soir?
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    9 septembre 2010 19:58, par JUJBURGO

    Monsieur Ratinier, Claude…

    Monsieur Ratinier, Claude de votre prénom, je vous informe, en toute indépendance bien sûr, que le mari de madame désire vous rencontrer; vous voudrez bien avoir l'amabilité de vous présenter demain matin, à l'aube, à l'entrée principale du Père-Lachaise, après vous être préalablement à ceci muni d'une (...)
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    3 septembre 2010 21:35, par Claude Ratinier

    D’ailleurs, en fin connaisseur,…

    D'ailleurs, en fin connaisseur, Eric nous a gaté. En effet, Yasmine est une gourmande, alors venez nombreux ici
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    3 septembre 2010 19:11, par Claude Ratinier

    Entre le sex toy en or de…

    Entre le sex toy en or de Bettencour et le gang bang de Yasmine organisé par Besson, on peut dire que nos élites se mettent en 4 en ce moment pour faire passer le message.
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    3 septembre 2010 12:48, par pièce détachée

    À la pointe de la civilisation,…

    À la pointe de la civilisation, pour 2000 € la nuit, Zahia : la marchandise n'est pas une victime, elle fait ce qu'elle veut, elle ne dépend de personne. On ne saurait mieux dire. On l'applaudit ici.
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    3 septembre 2010 12:48, par pièce détachée

    À la pointe de la civilisation,…

    À la pointe de la civilisation, pour 2000 € la nuit, Zahia : la marchandise n'est pas une victime, elle fait ce qu'elle veut, elle ne dépend de personne. On ne saurait mieux dire. On l'applaudit ici.
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    2 septembre 2010 20:56, par Didier Kala

    "Fort opportunément chartérisées…

    "Fort opportunément chartérisées"... Zut je croyais que M. Lamy avait annoncé que nous avions échappé à la tentation protectionniste !
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    2 septembre 2010 20:55, par Didier Kala

    Oui, appremment une réforme…

    Oui, appremment une réforme qui tourne mal chez notre prestataire de blabla. Sinon : les gravatars fonctionnent sur les articles antérieurs à la présente version du site, soit avant l'été 2009. Nous utilisons une solutions externe pour les nouveaux commentaires, qui permet de bénéficier de tous les (...)
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    2 septembre 2010 19:42, par Claude Ratinier

    La lapidation, c’est l’âge…

    La lapidation, c'est l'âge de pierre. L'occident, avec les lumières, a compris depuis déjà longtemps tous les bienfaits de l'adultère. D'ailleurs, dans adultère, on peut voir adulte, ce qui est déjà une preuve de maturité. C'est bien avec les lumières qu'est apparu le libertinage, qui plus tard donnera (...)
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    2 septembre 2010 14:31, par pièce détachée

    Bizarre, ce canon à commentaires…

    Bizarre, ce canon à commentaires qui envoie trois boulets d'un coup, mais qui refuse obstinément mon exquis gravatar...
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    2 septembre 2010 14:30, par pièce détachée

    Bizarre, ce canon à commentaires…

    Bizarre, ce canon à commentaires qui envoie trois boulets d'un coup, mais qui refuse obstinément mon exquis gravatar...
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    2 septembre 2010 14:30, par pièce détachée

    Bizarre, ce canon à commentaires…

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  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    2 septembre 2010 14:26, par pièce détachée

    Oui mais bon, déjà le spectacle…

    Oui mais bon, déjà le spectacle de toutes les simagrées pour trouver un homme et se faire épouser... Je n'y arriverai jamais, ça me fatigue d'avance.
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    2 septembre 2010 14:26, par pièce détachée

    Oui mais bon, déjà le spectacle…

    Oui mais bon, déjà le spectacle de toutes les simagrées pour trouver un homme et se faire épouser... Je n'y arriverai jamais, ça me fatigue d'avance.
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    2 septembre 2010 14:26, par pièce détachée

    Oui mais bon, déjà le spectacle…

    Oui mais bon, déjà le spectacle de toutes les simagrées pour trouver un homme et se faire épouser... Je n'y arriverai jamais, ça me fatigue d'avance.
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    2 septembre 2010 12:13, par La chèvre

    Et moi qui croyais que « lapidati…

    Et moi qui croyais que «lapidation», ça venait de «laper», que ça voulait dire qu'on était léché jusqu'à ce que mort s'ensuive... Enfin bon, on ne va pas me jeter la première pierre... hein ?
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    2 septembre 2010 11:29, par mike hammer papatam andropov

    Il en va de l’amour bleu-blanc-r…

    Il en va de l'amour bleu-blanc-rouge dans un univers bravepatrie affriolant et chatoyant pour toutes ces dames qui soignent leur intérieur.

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Generally I do not read article on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very forced me to try and do it ! Your writing taste has been (...)

Retha Chestnut

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Il vous semble que l'Histoire bégaie ? C'est bien le cas, et comme prévu c'est une farce :

3 février 2006 : Brave Patrie s’insurge contre les caricatures du Prophète - c’est quoi, son nom, déjà ?

Tweets patriotes

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