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Armand Bandoulière, vendredi 1er avril 2011 - 08:59
Après Claude François, célèbre philosophe levantin décédé tragiquement dans sa salle de bains pour une bête question de différence de potentiel, nous venons d’apprendre le décès de Bernard-Henri Lévy, lui aussi dans sa salle de bains. Selon les premières constatations, le philosophe essayait de repasser une de ses célèbres chemises tout en faisant la conversation à Daphné Guinness qui barbotait dans la mousse. Par pudeur, on ne reviendra pas sur les circonstances exactes du drame. Une certitude demeure : sa chemise repassée est restée immaculée. L’accident s’est produit le 31 mars vers 23h30, au moment où le voile était atteint par la vapeur.
Mlle Rose (son esthéticienne capillicultrice personnelle) et le Colonel Moutarde (son aide de camp) ont immédiatement annoncé le drame à Gala et Philosophie Magazine.
BHL, l’homme qui aimait les femmes.
Bernard Levy, né en novembre 1948 dans un kibboutz du Paraguay, était d’abord un homme avant d’être un esprit. Après de brillantes études à Neuilly, et des vacances au Mexique, le jeune Bernard commence une carrière de serial-jouisseur qui lui permet d’attraper quelques top-models et fashion victims dans ses filets.
Grand amateur de la gent féminine, il va d’ailleurs co-rédiger avec son confrère, le philosophe-poissonnier Jean Marie Bigard, un traité sur La chasse à la salope [1] dans lequel on apprend que la traque est plus aisée quand on est d’une famille riche résidant à Neuilly, avec une éducation basée sur la tchatche et une chemise ouverte. Ce séducteur a donc rencontré parfois de jolies femmes, des muses, et des moches dont il n’a pas donné les noms. On le félicite pour ce silence courtois digne des grands prédateurs.
Artiste en son for intérieur, il s’était essayé au cinéma éphémère potager : Le Jour et la Nuit, avec son (ex) épouse Arielle Dombasle, Alain Delon, Lauren Bacall et Karl Zéro.
Ce jet-setter infatigable permit également aux hôtels de Sarajevo de retrouver leur rang de villégiature pour les authentiques mondains en quête de cure de dubitchu bosniaque, de klug herzégovin et d’air Purifié.
Serviable, malgré ses responsabilités d’enseignant, de philosophe, de conseiller et d’amant, Bernard entamera une longue collaboration avec le philosophe-pâtissier belge Noël Godin en travaillant avec lui sur le concept d’entartage épicurien.
BHL, le décolleté glamour.
Passionné par l’action, moins soldat que Descartes, mais plus proche du journaliste « embedded », il s’était découvert une marotte : la guerre.
Il s’approcha du front du Pakistan après la guerre (1972). Il s’initia aux conflits modernes en Afghanistan (1981). Et en 1998, il croisa même le commandant Massoud sans que celui ci ne le vit.
En 2001, cette analyse au sujet de la guerre d’Afghanistan, « la victoire éclair d’une stratégie que nous n’étions pas bien nombreux à juger d’une habileté, d’une efficacité militaro-politique insoupçonnées », démontra sa puissance intellectuelle et sa capacité à faire des phrases que lui seul comprend.
Ce stratège, expert en poliorcétique balkanique, n’avait cependant pas pris en compte nos Braveforces spéciales et la présence efficace du dispositif français. Tous les Bravepatriotes le savent : en 2001, les Américains n’ont pas gagné en Afghanistan car nous n’étions ni là, ni prêts.
Alain Delon déguisé en BHL.
Il évoluera au grade de conseiller stratégique présidentiel de par son ancienneté para-militaire et le succès de son ouvrage De la guerre en philosophie [2]. Impliqué dans la lutte contre le terrorisme, il rédige également un essai intitulé Qui a tué Daniel Pearl ?, donnant enfin une suite au remarquable Where is Charlie ? du philosophe-soldat américain Walter E. Kurtz.
C’est avec ce background de vétéran que Bernard va coacher l’équipe présidentielle pour la guerre en Libye, démontrant ainsi qu’un philosophe avec des cheveux est toujours plus compétent qu’un ministre des Affaires Etrangères chauve à lunettes quand on passe aux choses sérieuses.
BHL, le pompeux cornichon.
Fondateur du mouvement des nouveaux philosophes en chemise blanche avec Francis Lalanne et André Rieu, il s’engage à gauche dès les années 70 et fait partie des conseillers de François Mitterrand.
Bernard définissait la gauche comme un courant politique (LOL quand on pense à sa mort) aux idées anticolonialistes, pro soixante-huitardes, dreyfusardes. Par provocation, il accola le nom de Henri à son pseudonyme, pour salir à nouveau la mémoire du Commandant Henry si cher à notre cœur.
Pire, affirme-t-il, la gauche serait hostile aux idées de Vichy. Vous avez reconnu là tout ce que la Brave Patrie reproche au complot sénestrophile. Bernard a donc fait partie de l’anti-France ; pas étonnant quand on connaît ses racines.
Il se fourvoie donc dans des combats contre le soit disant « fascisme à la française » dénoncé par sa coreligionnaire Hannah Arendt, qu’il n’a sans doute pas lue.
C’est ainsi qu’il rappelle que Maurras, Drumont ou Pierre Drieu La Rochelle appartiennent à l’esprit français. Il a certes raison, mais, pourquoi les condamner ? Et surtout, pourquoi oublier Philippe Henriot et Jean-Pierre Stirbois ? Raymond Aron dira d’ailleurs de Bernard à ce sujet qu’il « viole toutes les règles de l’interprétation honnête ». Et on le comprend !
L’homme qui voit loin.
« BHL est un petit con prétentieux ! » Cette fulgurance d’Henri Guaino répondait à la pseudo-critique de Bernard sur un discours supposément raciste. Quoi de raciste dans cet extrait « L’homme africain, n’est pas assez entré dans l’Histoire » ? Michel Sardou dans son Afrique Adieu serait, si on suit cette analyse, un raciste, voire un partisan du président Sarkozy.
Mais comme Bernard le faisait remarquer avec justesse « Je suis de ceux qui, pour être plus clair encore, continuent d’estimer qu’un philosophe faisant, pour une raison ou pour une autre, son deuil de la vérité, perd honneur et dignité. »
C’est ainsi qu’il avait soutenu fort a posteriori l’expérience philoso-écolo-morale de Botul à Nueva Königsberg [3]. Et surtout, c’est ainsi qu’après des années d’errance sous l’influence morbide de son ex-muse, il a finalement rejoint le camp de la France qui gagne au côté de Notre Grand Petit Homme et a fustigé l’antiaméricanisme gauchiste, la senestre incompréhension face à la Liberté, et la complaisance vis à vis d’Al Qaida et du Hamas.
Les obsèques auront lieu Dimanche 3 Avril au Panthéon, où Bernard-Henri Levy reposera entre Jean Moulin et Johnny Hallyday, Notre Président ayant décidé pour l’occasion de faire de la place en retirant le sinistre cadavre de Jaurès du monument. Il faut reconnaître que Jaurès était plus timide que BHL à propos de guerres au Maghreb ou dans les Balkans.
There’s nothing like a Guinness.
Mme Guinness (veuve sentimentale) s’occupera de la mise en bière et pour la cérémonie portera un ensemble d’Alexander McQueen, un sac Hermès et sa nouvelle ligne de maquillage Nars.
L’ex-compagne du défunt, Arielle Dombasle aurait déclaré à la nouvelle de sa mort : « Que faire face à une telle perte ? Reprendre deux fois des pâtes et boire un bon Bordeaux. »
La Bravepatrie se réjouit donc de la mort d’un gauchiste, « youpin de surcroît », nous a précisé Christian Jacob, mais présente ses condoléances au Président pour la perte d’un précieux conseiller dans sa croisade outre-mer. Celui qui avait succédé médiatiquement et esthétiquement à Jean-Paul Sartre a donc rejoint Botul dans le cénacle des Grands penseurs disparus.
Que faire de son œuvre ? Rien.
[1] Cet ouvrage vient d’être réédité chez XO avec une préface de Jean Sarkozy.
[2] Prix Botul 2010
[3] Une centaine de familles allemandes fuyant les Rouges fondent en 1946 la ville de Nueva Königsberg, où ils vivent comme Kant dans un décor évoquant les rues de Königsberg.
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Name 911 if your signs really feel life-threatening,
otherwise you think you have a medical emergency. Common pointers notice that
a common dose of immediate-release or delayed-release prednisone is anyplace from 5 to 60 milligrams (mg)
day by day. Some individuals could additionally be prescribed a excessive dose for several
days without a taper. But others could take
a low dose day by day to keep signs of a persistent
situation at bay.
You won’t be putting a lot measurement on with this stack, however
it’s perfect for chopping. The Deca will benefit you from therapeutic enhancements, especially joint healing24.
Combining Anavar and Primo will deliver the exhausting physique you’re after and may even be
more forgiving in case your food plan isn’t good. You’ll additionally be in a position to keep muscle extra simply (Primo doesn’t aromatize), however bear in mind, this isn’t an affordable cycle to
run. A stack of two of probably the most legendary cutting steroids can’t let you down. Anavar is a nice gentle steroid and, at reasonable doses, is side-effect-friendly.
Winstrol has a drying impact, which goes to harden and vascularize.
This testosterone ester is a long-acting steroid with a
half-life of 8-12 days. Your testosterone cypionate
cycle ought to be no less than 12 weeks long.
This steroid can work well in a slicing cycle by serving
to preserve lean muscle tissue and energy. Some of the slicing steroids Testosterone Cypionate is commonly stacked with embrace Anavar, Winstrol, and Equipoise.
Unfortunately this will really destroy the muscle gains you’ve made.
It is advisable to have experience with steroids earlier than utilizing this
one. Really Helpful doses are 500 to 600mg per week with a cycle of between 10 and 12 weeks.
It is dianabol illegal (http://iapple.minfish.com) mostly cycled
for four to 6 weeks with a dose of between 30 and 50mg per day.
As an oral, you can also count on insane cell hydration, that means
you’ll feel pretty full. While there are numerous
higher compounds, Dianabol is likely considered one of the most famous
steroids used to gain lean muscle. It is a really efficient
option for these in search of rapid muscle development however it’s additionally one of the hardest steroids
to manage. Endogenous shutdown could be severe on trenbolone,
and thus users will want to wait several months before their testosterone
levels recuperate earlier than using additional cycles.
Winstrol can additionally be much more androgenic than Anavar, so oily skin and hair loss are extra probably to turn into a difficulty.
This interval is perfect as a outcome of it lets you make gains for
the longest time till you attain the purpose where gaining muscle starts to diminish, plateau, and doubtlessly
cease altogether. As for results, both oral and injectable steroids are more
than able to delivering powerful anabolic effects18. In The
End, your outcomes will come down to not the administration sort of your
steroids however to how you employ them, how you plan your cycles,
and the way optimum your diet and coaching are !
In different words, you can fail on orals and injectables
should you don’t do the opposite things right. This, mixed with an excellent diet and train program,
can result in elevated muscle mass, improved definition, decreased physique fat, and more testosterone.
Every steroid cycle you complete will include useful classes that can serve you
nicely into the longer term. These will embody optimistic classes about the results
you’ve achieved, but much more necessary is how you’ll uncover steroids’ adverse impacts throughout and after each cycle.
As time goes on, you’ll study what works and what doesn’t for you.
Whereas this might seem time-consuming, it’s the only method to get
yourself into a complicated steroid user class.
It can (and should) take years to get to the point where
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thing you suddenly achieve in a single day.
When you stop using Testosterone Cypionate, and as quickly as it clears your system, your testosterone
ranges will drop, typically considerably so.
Well-liked oral steroids that can be stacked with Testosterone Cypionate include Anadrol, Anavar, Dianabol, and
Winstrol. One of the positives about Testosterone Cypionate is
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Your PCT protocol following a Testosterone Cypionate cycle should consider another AAS you’ve used.
In nearly all cases, your most valued PCT software will be SERMs like Nolvadex
and Clomid.
However it’s often found in smaller quantities, where it’s used to maintain bones strong and sexual
perform healthy. Let’s get into what steroids are, what they’re used
for (both legally and illegally), and the way to discover some safe alternatives to steroids
that’ll provide the similar outcomes. Proviron is arguably
most effectively used throughout a Dianabol cycle, "acting as a wingman," says Dr.
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Thus, we discover Dianabol produces better leads to
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sample baldness and acne are much less often reported on Deca Durabolin due to DHT levels
failing to rise to extreme ranges.
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