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Comme chaque année à la même époque, je pars me ressourcer et acheter quelques robes sexy à New-York. Je choisis comme souvent un Sofitel. Celui de Times Square est plein de promesses. Alors que j’échappais l’année dernière à un attentat dans le même quartier, voici que cette année, j’assiste à un véritable complot.
En effet, en digne épouse d’homme d’affaires, mais de gauche malgré tout, j’aime me montrer sociable et accessible. Je mets un point d’honneur à échanger quelques civilités avec les petites jeunes filles qui nettoient ma suite. Il est toujours passionnant de découvrir le quotidien de ses "no-life", qui ont délibérément choisi de mettre leur existence au service de ceux qui savent redresser l’économie. Digne choix de carrière. Cette année, c’est Manolita (nous l’appellerons ainsi pour respecter son anonymat, tout en restant crédible) qui a le privilège de ramasser les boxers en lycra fin, les chemises en popeline de coton et les chaussettes de choupinou. Me les rapportant après nettoyage, je sens confusément que quelque chose ne tourne pas rond chez la soubrette. Je l’interroge : elle fond en larmes et me confie son histoire.
Oh la vilaine poussière que voilà.
Notre jeune amie est ambitieuse, elle brigue le poste de gouvernante en chef. C’est une sorte de poste de "Présidente des bonnes", très convoité. Etant favorite, elle soupçonne avec clairvoyance que ses rivales méditent un mauvais coup.
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Il ne s’agit que d’un dérapage de plumeau, rien de plus. Mais voilà, la principale rivale de Manolita aura surpris les râles de plaisir du futur candidat socialiste et saisi l’aubaine pour éliminer sa rivale en la dénonçant à ses supérieurs (il est en effet in-ter-dit de faire des gateries gratos aux clients, l’hôtel disposant d’un service "oreiller supplémentaire" haut de gamme très rentable). Pour se sortir de ce mauvais pas, notre amie catalane n’a eu d’autre possibilité que de raconter son moment de folie entre adultes consentants au commissariat le plus proche, ajoutant aux faits le sel nécéssaire pour sauver son destin Présidentiel. Car l’ambition n’a pas de prix.
La fin du récit de Manolita étant à la une des journaux internationaux, je peux rejoindre mon spa moussant en espérant vous avoir éclairé sur cette actualité hot saucisse.
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