Alfred-Georges, vendredi 28 mai 2010 - 09:02
Face à la recrudescence des actes de violence gratuite perpétrés par les voyous, une solution s’est tout naturellement imposée au gouvernement : le Taser. Simple mais il fallait y penser, le Taser met rapidement et efficacement un terme à toute manifestation de désapprobation envers l’utilisateur (user). Malheureusement, François Mitterrand a inventé le concept de « Conseil d’Etat » qui s’oppose à la transposition en Droit français du deuxième amendement de la Constitution des Etats-Unis d’Amérique. Le gouvernement doit trouver des solutions alternatives. Il en va de notre sécurité.
Si tout va mieux pour la police municipale, le drame de la mort d’Aurélie Fouquet ayant permis à la population de prendre brutalement conscience des difficultés de ce métier et à Brice Hortefire de promulguer un décret autorisant les policiers municipaux à s’armer de Tasers, il n’en va pas de même des chauffeurs de bus, vigiles, concierges, instituteurs, artisans, commerçants, toujours exposés à la menace d’une injure, d’un coup, d’un caillassage, d’un 6.35, d’un bazooka, d’un ICBM à triple tête nucléaire.
Certes, le Taser n’a pas encore pleinement démontré son efficacité contre des individus équipés d’une mitrailleuse lourde, mais des tests prometteurs sont en cours dans la région de Kaboul. Pour des raisons logistiques, les otages n’ont pas encore pu en transmettre les résultats. Il n’en demeure pas moins qu’on comprend mal pourquoi son utilisation n’est pas tout simplement généralisée.
La rédaction, sur le terrain, a pu prendre la mesure de l’utilité du Taser. Jean-Louis B., policier municipal à Pouilly-les-Fouilles, verbalise un conducteur indélicat qui s’est garé sur une place payante sans s’acquitter de la redevance communale de stationnement. « Mais, Officier, c’est juste pour cinq minutes. Je vais acheter une baguette. » Vaine tentative d’amadouer l’agent des forces de l’ordre par une adhésion probablement feinte aux valeurs de l’identité nationale. « Dura lex, sed lex, Monsieur », répond le policier. « Je considère, Officier, que je paie assez d’impôts locaux comme ça », rétorque le contrevenant. « Bzzz ! » lance le policier qui clôt par là même la conversation. Le contrevenant convulse ridiculement sur la voie publique.
Le Taser offre donc la possibilité de couper court à toute forme de discussion inutile par impulsion électrique, sans aucun risque pour la santé de la cible, un peu comme une exécution ratée dans l’Etat de Virginie. Momo K. en témoigne : « J’adore convulser », si bien que rien ne peut légitimement s’opposer à la distribution de cet outil de travail le plus largement possible. Le Taser est le gage d’une conversation assainie, cantonnée à ses fondamentaux. Le dialogue social pourrait s’en trouver simplifié et quelques convulsions de Bernard Thibault pourraient suffire à un allongement de la durée de cotisation.
Toutefois, le Conseil d’Etat, sinistre institution crypto-soviétique affidée du Conseil constitutionnel, interdit au gouvernement d’autoriser le Taser pour un usage quotidien et convivial. En attendant que Nicolas Sarkozy mette définitivement un terme au gouvernement des juges, il convient de trouver des solutions alternatives. Ce pourquoi Brice Hortefire incite les professions à risque à se doter d’un armement plus facilement disponible : le pistolet à bille. « En visant bien, on peut toucher l’œil » confirme une source proche du dossier. Et en plus on peut en trouver chez Toys’r’us facilement.
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