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Les Chauffeurs de Bus bientôt équipés de pistolets à billes

Alfred-Georges, vendredi 28 mai 2010 - 09:02 Partager sur Facebook Tweeter Enregistrer sur del.icio.us Enregistrer sur Google Bookmarks Enregistrer sur Yahoo! Envoyer par e-mail

Face à la recrudescence des actes de violence gratuite perpétrés par les voyous, une solution s’est tout naturellement imposée au gouvernement : le Taser. Simple mais il fallait y penser, le Taser met rapidement et efficacement un terme à toute manifestation de désapprobation envers l’utilisateur (user). Malheureusement, François Mitterrand a inventé le concept de « Conseil d’Etat » qui s’oppose à la transposition en Droit français du deuxième amendement de la Constitution des Etats-Unis d’Amérique. Le gouvernement doit trouver des solutions alternatives. Il en va de notre sécurité.

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"Fallait pas te garer en double file, OK ?"

Si tout va mieux pour la police municipale, le drame de la mort d’Aurélie Fouquet ayant permis à la population de prendre brutalement conscience des difficultés de ce métier et à Brice Hortefire de promulguer un décret autorisant les policiers municipaux à s’armer de Tasers, il n’en va pas de même des chauffeurs de bus, vigiles, concierges, instituteurs, artisans, commerçants, toujours exposés à la menace d’une injure, d’un coup, d’un caillassage, d’un 6.35, d’un bazooka, d’un ICBM à triple tête nucléaire.

Certes, le Taser n’a pas encore pleinement démontré son efficacité contre des individus équipés d’une mitrailleuse lourde, mais des tests prometteurs sont en cours dans la région de Kaboul. Pour des raisons logistiques, les otages n’ont pas encore pu en transmettre les résultats. Il n’en demeure pas moins qu’on comprend mal pourquoi son utilisation n’est pas tout simplement généralisée.

La rédaction, sur le terrain, a pu prendre la mesure de l’utilité du Taser. Jean-Louis B., policier municipal à Pouilly-les-Fouilles, verbalise un conducteur indélicat qui s’est garé sur une place payante sans s’acquitter de la redevance communale de stationnement. « Mais, Officier, c’est juste pour cinq minutes. Je vais acheter une baguette. » Vaine tentative d’amadouer l’agent des forces de l’ordre par une adhésion probablement feinte aux valeurs de l’identité nationale. « Dura lex, sed lex, Monsieur », répond le policier. « Je considère, Officier, que je paie assez d’impôts locaux comme ça », rétorque le contrevenant. « Bzzz ! » lance le policier qui clôt par là même la conversation. Le contrevenant convulse ridiculement sur la voie publique.

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Sandrine G., institutrice : "Et maintenant, je vais vous lire une histoire, bande d’enculés".

Le Taser offre donc la possibilité de couper court à toute forme de discussion inutile par impulsion électrique, sans aucun risque pour la santé de la cible, un peu comme une exécution ratée dans l’Etat de Virginie. Momo K. en témoigne : « J’adore convulser », si bien que rien ne peut légitimement s’opposer à la distribution de cet outil de travail le plus largement possible. Le Taser est le gage d’une conversation assainie, cantonnée à ses fondamentaux. Le dialogue social pourrait s’en trouver simplifié et quelques convulsions de Bernard Thibault pourraient suffire à un allongement de la durée de cotisation.

Toutefois, le Conseil d’Etat, sinistre institution crypto-soviétique affidée du Conseil constitutionnel, interdit au gouvernement d’autoriser le Taser pour un usage quotidien et convivial. En attendant que Nicolas Sarkozy mette définitivement un terme au gouvernement des juges, il convient de trouver des solutions alternatives. Ce pourquoi Brice Hortefire incite les professions à risque à se doter d’un armement plus facilement disponible : le pistolet à bille. « En visant bien, on peut toucher l’œil » confirme une source proche du dossier. Et en plus on peut en trouver chez Toys’r’us facilement.

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        • {#EMAIL_AUTEUR,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

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Déjà 12 réactions.

  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    21 mars 2012 20:47, par Ecrivez votre nom ici

    "Le Taser est le gage d’une…

    "Le Taser est le gage d’une conversation assainie, cantonnée à ses fondamentaux." Vous avez bien raison cher monsieur Guy-Georges il ne faut pas se perdre en conjectures!
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    21 mars 2012 09:02, par gggugdfhuvhfvidfh

    ^les pistoles comme la premier…

    ^les pistoles comme la premier image doit etre interdie
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    27 septembre 2010 11:56, par bravarax

    "Quand on est con, on est…

    "Quand on est con, on est con". Je vois que Brassens vous connaissait. bravarax@skynet.be
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    14 juin 2010 14:03, par Ben Franklin

    Je suis d’accord, mais on…

    Je suis d'accord, mais on se débarasserait aussi d'un chauffeur de bus... En même temps, il est sûrement syndiqué, donc c'est pas comme si c'était vraiment un être humain...
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    2 juin 2010 00:37, par Le Futur Fuhrer

    Et si on collait sur chaque…

    Et si on collait sur chaque bus une bombonne de Zyklon B à faire amorcer par notre chauffeur? Comme ça, on pourrait d'une pierre deux coups: 1) on se débarasse d'un nuisible. 2) on se débarasse de probables futurs nuisibles. Comme ça, la vie est belle et simple. J'ai toujours aimé les solutions (...)
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    29 mai 2010 22:02, par Claude Ratinier

    Je pense plutôt qu’au contraire,…

    Je pense plutôt qu'au contraire, nous devons remercier chaleureusement les américains d'avoir sauvé ce qu'ils ont pu du Reich avant l'invasion massive des krypto gauchistes. D'ailleurs, on voit bien ques les avancées sociales majeures des années 39-45 reviennent aujourd'hui, en espérant qu'elles (...)
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    29 mai 2010 13:28, par Philippe P.

    Ah, Ma Brave Patrie ! Je te…

    Ah, Ma Brave Patrie! Je te retrouve dans ces billets si pleins d'une fermeté de bon aloi et d'une grande bonté pour ce peuple qui souffre (même s'il y en a tout de même un peu trop). J'en écrase une larme discrètement. Faudrait pas qu'on me prenne pour une gonzesse non (...)
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    28 mai 2010 16:19, par Vive la Milice

    Non mais tout ça, c’est…

    Non mais tout ça, c'est encore d' la faute aux amerloques. S'ils nous avaient pas envahis, s'ils n'avaient pas débarqué sur nos plages... nous qui recevions de beaux et disciplinés militaires nationaux-socialistes... on n'aurait pas de problèmes aujourd'hui ! On aurait le droit d'avoir des armes (...)
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    28 mai 2010 15:22, par Jean-Eudes Laballe

    Personnellement, je tenais…

    Personnellement, je tenais à faire savoir que je me fous totalement des chauffeurs de bus ou autre conducteurs de wagons à plèbe. Les pauvres, ils vivent entre eux, qu'ils se débrouillent entre eux. Nous autres les forces vives de la nation avons blindé nos Bentley et nous vous disons : merde (...)
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    28 mai 2010 12:44, par gabuzo

    482 morts par Taser aux Etats-Un…

    482 morts par Taser aux Etats-Unis. Mais on s'en fout, il s'agissait surement de malfaiteurs récalcitrants au NWO
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    28 mai 2010 11:04, par Ben Franklin

    Je soutiens cette initiative,…

    Je soutiens cette initiative, d'autant plus que ça permettrait de repérer les délinquants prêts à la récidive grâce aux brûlures au visages... Un peu comme quand on essorillait les prostituées, ou qu'on coupait une main aux voleurs... Bien à (...)
  • {#EMAIL,32,#URL_SITE_SPIP/petit_coq.gif}

    28 mai 2010 09:34, par Franz von Blauweiss-Roth

    Che brobose d’udiliser des…

    Che brobose d'udiliser des bistolets de paint-ball, mais de remblacer les billes de beinture par des billes d'acide sulfurique (H2SO4) ... ça marque d'avantage les délinquants !

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Diuretics are medication that change the physique’s stability of fluids and salts. They may cause the physique to lose water, which might decrease an (...)

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